My “Justified” Envy

The story replays itself often: I scroll through my Facebook news feed; wedding – baby – engagement – baby – wedding – engagement – more babies.

I usually react one of three ways to other people’s good news:

  • Yay, I’m so happy for them! They’ve been wanting/trying for this for a long time.
  • Ugh, MORE people getting married and having babies! Don’t they know it’s super rude to post all that happy news all over Facebook? Geesh, have a little respect for those of us who want that and don’t have it.
  • I canNOT believe SHE got engaged. I am so much prettier/smarter. I have better grammar/manners. I’m not sitting around waiting to pop out babies; I’m DOING something with my life – and SHE’S the one who gets the man?

I know that two-thirds of those responses are not right; but most of the time, I don’t even feel bad about blatantly thinking them (or saying them out loud).

One time, a friend announced her engagement on Facebook, and I immediately texted two friends and said something like, “Seriously? Her? She is SO. WEIRD. How did she get a boyfriend anyway? And now she gets to have a wedding and a HUSBAND?!” And the thing that made me feel better was the return text in which my friend told me everything wrong with the fiancé.

When I’m super honest in my selfish moments, I don’t want anyone younger than I to get married or have children. I don’t want anyone less attractive than I to get a spouse more attractive than I. I want basic spelling and grammar skills and a certain IQ to be a requirement for people in a relationship. I don’t want anyone who chews loudly Read More