Wedding To-Do’s and To-Know’s

Hi everyone,

There’s gonna be a lot of information here, so please stick around for all of it. Keep reading for schedules, instructions, and more!

General instructions for the wedding weekend:

  • If you’re flying in, please let Charity know as soon as you book your tickets, so she can make sure someone meets you at the airport. If you’re renting a car, let her know that too (if you haven’t already).
  • Please show up to everything ON TIME or early. We know the wedding is on “National Be Late to Something Day,” but maybe be late to something else. 😉
  • If you are a virtual attendant, you can pay attention only to the wedding day schedule.
  • When we say “standard social distancing restrictions,” we mean:
    • Wear a mask.
    • Stay 6 feet away from the people who don’t live with you.
    • If you are eating, eat 6 feet away from other people and try not to breathe in their faces.

Daily Schedules

Thursday, 3 Sep 2020


Kat is in charge of this and will be letting you know more details soon.

  • Time: 
  • Place:
  • Plan:
  • This activity is optional and requires a separate RSVP than the wedding.
  • Standard social distancing restrictions apply.
  • This activity is for any bridal party members and Charity’s brothers who are 21 and older (exceptions may apply). 

Friday, 4 Sep 2020


  • Time: 4:00 pm
  • Place: 8805 N. Magnolia Ave, Santee, CA 92070
  • Emily Kotwicki is the wedding coordinator, and she’ll be taking over from here. Her phone number is 971-344-7768.
  • Standard social distancing restrictions apply.
  • This activity is for anyone who is walking down the aisle or will be on stage (wedding party, moms, ushers, Wes). 
  • It’s important for you to be there, because we will be deciding where everyone stands during the ceremony.
  • After we rehearse, we are going to decorate. Please stick around and lend a hand, as it will get done quickly with a lot of help. (There’s not much to decorate, honestly.) Nicole is going to spearhead the decorating of the arch, and there might be a couple of signs to put up.


  • Time: 5:30 pm
  • Place: Shadow Hill Park – 9161 Shadow Hill Rd, Santee, CA 92071
  • It will be Little Caesar’s pizza on paper plates because the wedding is fancy, but the rehearsal is not!
  • This is a park with bathrooms near the church. If you need a ride from the church to the park, that can be arranged.
  • Standard social distancing restrictions apply.
  • This activity is optional, and is basically just a bonding activity. It does not require an RSVP; but if you’re not coming or aren’t eating pizza, please let Charity know.

Saturday, 5 Sep 2020


Here is the wedding day schedule:

6:30 am
Charity and women start getting ready at venue
8:00 am
Brian and men start getting ready at condo or Brian’s parents’ house
9:45 am
Family and wedding party pics
11:00 am
ceremony starts
11:30 am
ceremony ends, receiving line starts
12:45 pm
Standing reception
1:00 pm
Brian and Charity leave
The timeline after the wedding is loose and will depend on how long it takes to get through pics with all the cars.

All the things you want to know and probably some more

Virtual attendants:

  • If you would like to call in for the getting-ready part, we can video chat over Messenger.
  • Please be available via video on the Zoom link for pics and the ceremony. If you are family, please also be available for pics after the ceremony.
  • You may wear whatever you like (within reason).
  • We will send you your bouquets/wands/boutonnieres ahead of time for you to use/wear in the video.

NOTE: If you are unsure whether you would rather be a virtual attendant at this point, please read through the rest of this information to help you decide. If you would like to opt for virtual attendance, please know that we still love you and will be super supportive of that decision. We will still consider you a part of the wedding party and can’t wait until we can see you in person again. You may opt for this at any time; but obviously the more notice we have, the better, so we can mail you your prop and gift before the wedding.


  • It will probably be HOT. The average temp for Sep 5 in Santee is 88 degrees. We will be on or next to asphalt the whole time, so be prepared for it to seem hotter than that.
  • We will have a “cooling down” station indoors with water for the wedding party. Standard social distancing restrictions will apply.


  • There will be getting ready areas for the men and women, as well as restrooms. 
  • There will also be a secure place to put all your stuff.
  • Of course, you are free to never enter the venue, if you’d rather stay outside the whole time.
  • There will be designated parking for bridal party members driving their own cars.


  • If you don’t want to get ready with everyone else (men with men, women with women), then feel free to arrive at the church ready to go at 9:30 am.
  • Pictures will be a bit tricky, but our talented and ambitious photographer Jovanna will be there to direct us. Be assured that we’re not afraid of masks in pictures, and we will only ask you to remove them if everyone is a sufficient distance apart and outdoors. 
  • For any masks that will be in pictures or the ceremony, please make sure they coordinate with your outfit or are neutral in color (solid black, for instance). If they have patterns on them, please make sure they are subtle.


  • It will be super short. We’re aiming for 15 minutes, even with the processional.
  • You are welcome to wear or not wear masks, depending on your comfort level. It will be outdoors, and you will be spaced apart. So do what you’re comfortable with (one option is to leave your mask on for processional, then take it off for the ceremony). We promise that you won’t be ruining pictures if you leave yours on.

After the Ceremony:

  • Non-family wedding party can do whatever you want: get tacos, get in the car with your family, hang out indoors or outdoors, leave…
  • Family will need to stick closeby for just a few minutes, for extended family pics with anyone who attends via Zoom or car. Then you also can do whatever you want: get tacos, drive through the receiving line, hang out, leave…

Pictures with guests:

  • Charity and Brian are going to spend about half an hour (?) with guests as they drive up, as sort of a receiving line. 
  • Receiving line: During this time, if your family is attending, feel free to jump in the car with them and take pics with us when it is your car’s turn. Or if you drove and want to do this in your car, you are welcome to! We do just ask that you get in line with the rest of the cars.
  • Down-time: This is down-time for you. Feel free to eat your tacos and ice cream while you’re waiting for us to be done. Take off your shoes. Relax after a long, hot morning. Or, if you’re not going to stay for the rest of the things, you are free to leave. 

Standing reception:

  • After Charity and Brian are done with guest photos, we are going to take a break and eat. Then we’re going to do 3 things:
    • First dance
    • Father/Daughter dance
    • Confetti toss (in place of bouquet toss)
  • We will be in the lobby, but you are free to stand inside or outside the lobby for this (you should be able to see through the sliding glass doors, if you’d like). 
  • Anyone who is still there is going to be encouraged to wave ribbon wands and look generally excited for the getaway in Brian’s car.
  • If you are staying for this part, please don’t change out of your wedding clothes before the getaway.

After the getaway:

  • Some people need to stay behind with Emily and make sure the church gets swept, the decorations get to the right place, and the signage is picked up. There will be minimal clean-up, but it will be too much for Emily to do by herself. If you haven’t left before this part, please plan to stay until the church looks the same way we found it.
  • After clean-up, you are free to join Brian and Charity at Balboa Park. We will be going there with photographer Jovanna for pictures. We may be asking one or two of you specifically to come, so you can take us to our hotel and take the car back to our house in Lakeside. (It is also a beautiful, San Diego icon of a park, so you might even want to just come and enjoy it if you’re coming from out of town.)
  • If you are coming to Balboa Park with us to hang out during the photoshoot, feel free to wear whatever you’d like. No need to stay in wedding “dress code.”

Closing Words:

Again, thank you for being awesome and going with the flow of this crazy, off-the-wall wedding for the ages and bringing our vision to life. We are grateful for each of you.