Tag: gospel-centered singleness

My Wedding Woes

.Reading time 9 minutes.

I inserted the final bobby pin into Sarah’s hair and began fastening the white rose bud as the finishing touch to my first bridal hairstyle. I smiled big, oohed over how beautiful she was (I really had done a lovely job with her black hair), and kept up the smiling and oohing for the rest of the evening.

I was 19 years old; the bride, 18.

As a pastor’s kid, I’d been to literally dozens of weddings by that time, but Sarah’s still stands out to me for three firsts:

  • First bridal hair I’d styled
  • First time I was friends with the bride AND the groom
  • First wedding where I was older than the bride

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My Bookish Questions

.Reading time 9 minutes.

I didn’t read EVERY book on the “Christian Dating” shelf at the local Christian bookstore where I worked in high school; but I knew enough about every book to be the resident “Christian Dating Shelf” expert during my shifts.

As I approached my later teens, my parents wanted to do the parent-y thing and prepare me for boyfriend, romance, marriage, etc. Knowing I was an avid (seriously, there are not enough letters in the word “avid” to describe the avidness with which I was avid) reader, they directed me to books.

I, like all good teen Christian girls in the late 90’s, started with “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris; bought an advance copy of the sequel “Boy Meets Girl”; delved into real-life love stories like “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. From mass-published to self-published, the books couldn’t fly through my hands fast enough, and I supplemented my literary life with more Christian romance novels than I care to admit now.

I got super frustrated with “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” because Read More

My Thwarted Plans

.Reading time 11 minutes.

In the fall of 1999, I flipped through my SAT practice book, feeling a little overwhelmed by the geometry section. Feeling a little overwhelmed about this whole college thing, actually. My dad had bought me a fatty directory of colleges (bigger than a phone book – no joke), and I had been going through it for days, trying to pick out colleges I should maybe think about applying to.

“Ugh!” I called out in the general direction of God, as I began an internal monologue I hoped He overheard. If I could just find a man and get married, I could start making babies and not have to worry about this geometry problem. I wish my dad would hurry up and find me a boyfriend; I only have less than two years before I turn 18 and have to go to college.

I languished as neither God nor my dad found me a boyfriend in the next two years, and my family and I packed up and moved from Southern California to NW Oregon so I could go to George Fox University in Newberg.

I hate “no” for an answer – even from God. Read More

My Drug of Choice

.Reading time 4 minutes.

As I drove home from work today, I glanced down at my left ring finger and wondered where my ring was. Again.

I’ve never been married – never even been on a second date – but I live with this feeling that I’m missing someone. I’ll reach over to the other side of the bed, only to find my laptop or yesterday’s laundry; my left thumb will reach to adjust the phantom ring on my finger; I’ll walk out of the grocery store and look around to start counting my kids’ heads before we get to the car.

It’s the weirdest feeling. It’s like taking an extra step at the top of a staircase, simultaneously feeling confused at the unexpected, and stupid for expecting it. In my nerdy moments, I’m pretty sure I’m living in an alternate timeline. Read More