Once upon a time, a friend was getting married. She had quite a few bridesmaids for her wedding, and I was delighted to be one of them. There were the standard events- bachelorette party, girls staying up late talking (causing other girls to not be able to sleep), church decorating, pictures, trading shoes with another bridesmaid, walking down the aisle. You know, standard stuff.
Fast forward a few years and I’m getting ready to move to San Diego. The above bride contacts me to inform me of another of her friends, also moving to San Diego. She suggested we room together. Why not? This friend of the bride’s also happened to be one the bridesmaids from the wedding. Oh no, hopefully doesn’t think I was the annoying one. If we hate each other, it’s only a six month lease, right?
Well, I ended up not being the annoying one. I was one of the talking girls, irritating our favorite blogger and causing her to not sleep. Funny story, I’m also the bridesmaid that switched shoes with Charity because mine were too big and hers were too small. That’s right folks, it’s the roommate here. This blog post has been HACKED!
All the rules are out the window (for any that know me in real life, this is no surprise). Grammar? I mean I’ll try, but meh. (I almost guarantee Charity will edit this if she doesn’t remove it.) Funny anecdote, followed by struggle, followed by God vs my struggle, followed by wrapping up the post all neat and tidy? Not happening (minus the funny anecdote, cuz I already wrote it). Using a list with bulleted points for multiple thoughts under the same category? Uh-uh. Using capital letters to PROCLAIM MY EXCITEMENT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO DIE TOO YOUNG FROM OVERUSE OF EXCLAMATION POINTS? Heavens, no!
This post, dear readers, is all about the nitty gritty. A Charity Tell-All, if you will. Let’s get started, shall we?
Grammar is something she is uber passionate about. It’s a good thing, mostly, until I fret about proper punctuation on this blog post…
She has an irrational fear of exclamation points! Not quite, but she uses them exceedingly sparingly. Her reason: every person is given a set number of exclamation points to use in their lifetime. Once you’ve used your last one- BAM! You’re dead. There are sub-rules to this rule, but you can ask her about them.
She is a total nerd. I’m talking Sci-Fi loving, Dr. Who mug drinking, Superman t-shirt with cape, Marvel comic strip skirt wearing, practically every superhero TV show watching nerd. I love her for this because I need a good laugh or eye roll every now and then.
She knows how to cook four meals- Kraft mac and cheese, frozen pizza, scrambled eggs, and anything that has microwave heating directions. Five things if you count cereal.
She loves everything to match. Everything. EVERYTHING! Somebody save me.
Charity means love. Charity loves love. Charity loves pink and hearts and Valentine’s Day and anything that has to do with planning a wedding (if you haven’t noticed from previous wedding posts).
She is a record that is stuck- the kind that repeats the same thing over and over and over. She’ll tell me something, be super dramatic or excited about it, then tell her mom the exact same thing just as hyped up, then her sisters, then her friends, then whoever comes to our house to visit, maybe even the mosquitoes that sneak into our place. Then she’s done… until the next time she has something to share.
She has a horrible memory when it comes to conversations the two of us have had. Sometimes I find this amusing. Other times I find opportunities to love her even when she’s annoying me. An example:
Charity: What about pizza cutters?
Nicole: I told you last time, they get washed by hand, don’t put them in the dishwasher.
Charity: Really? You’ve told me this before?
Nicole: Yes, numerous times.
Charity: I don’t remember this conversation.
Nicole: You never do.
She can easily spend 2-3 hours working on painting her nails, 2-3 times a week. She once took a whole week to paint a detailed, scaled-down version of a Dr. Who painting on fake nails so she could wear them with a costume.
She thinks Jamberry nail wraps are cheating. This is only for her; she doesn’t judge (aloud) any of you that choose to wear them.
She is a coffee snob. Five of her siblings have worked as baristas in independent coffee shops. Their experience clearly makes her taste buds discerning of superior coffee.
She can’t handle caffeine. Its ok, you can laugh.
She is a boss at work (an actual boss, not just bossy) and sometimes will come home in boss mode, trying to direct her home life as easily as she does her work life. She has become very adept at switching quickly back to roommate (might have something to do with this roommate of hers who throws rules out the window).
She loves lists, especially the bullet pointed ones. They make her happy. She has multiple lists for multiple subjects. I recently discovered that she has given up on making lists for me to follow. Something about me crumpling it up and throwing it to the back of the closet…
She is incredibly consistent about not eating anything after she’s brushed her teeth at night- even if it’s super delectable. She’ll just tell you to save it for her.
She wears makeup almost every single day. The days she doesn’t wear makeup she calls herself lazy. She looks exactly the same with or without makeup. The color of her lips is the only thing that changes.
She doesn’t normally keep secrets (she will if you ask her too, but she loves sharing news). One time a friend told her about her pregnancy but to keep it secret from me until our friend could tell me in person. Long story short, the friend told me a few days after telling Charity, but the friend and I kept it a secret that I knew. We were intentionally saying things to Charity that would make her want to tell the “secret” to me, but she was a (tortured) pro at holding it in. We had great fun with this (the friend and I).
Charity is a favorite with the little humans. I bemoan the fact that all the little girls at church like Charity’s princess dresses and long hair more than my in-fashion jumpsuits and chic, short hair. (Don’t worry, I have the advantage when it comes to any physical activity- they come challenge me for that, my bruises prove it)
She HATES physical activity. If it involves sweating, there’s a high chance she’ll decline.
She is not very fond of the outdoors or nature in general. Her favorite way to do outside is from inside, viewing through a window.
She has a hard time with emotions. Seriously. There’s drama, which is allowable (unless you’re me, apparently), and then there’s emotions, which are illogical, irrational, and often not the truth, so you might as well just throw them out the window.
Since emotions are hard for Charity, empathy is a REALLY big stretch for her. She’s trying, though; so she totally gets credit for that.
Charity is not human. I am overly human. We are good for each other in this area.
Charity is a fantastic roommate. She does the dishes, she sings praises about my cooking, she gives compliments freely and often, she loves to snuggle, she encourages me to look to Jesus for my satisfaction, hope, comfort, joy (the list could keep going, and going, and going…), she prays for me and with me, she reminds me of the gospel and its application in my life.
Charity rejoiced with me when my sister chose Jesus, she talks with my nieces about Jesus’s love for them, she prays for my family- knowing how much I beg Jesus to save them. She also prays for you readers, even if she doesn’t know you.
I said that Charity is not human, but it’s more that she has such faith in Jesus’s love, such trust in His salvation; she doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t have it too. I’m so human in my back and forth battle to give Jesus complete control over everything in my life.
Remember my distaste for rules? Yeah, I’m definitely a sinner, incapable of standing before a perfect God to account for my rebellion, my wrongs, my hurtful words, my hateful thoughts, my selfishness, my pride-fullness, my sins. How can a perfect God look at me and ever say I’m good enough? He can’t. And you can’t pretend that He will be able to do so for you. The Bible is clear that we are sinners, incapable of redeeming our wrongs. The Bible is also clear that God is holy, perfect, and incapable of tolerating sin, any sin. So where does that leave you? It leaves you with a choice. You can choose to walk away from the serious talk now that all the funny stuff is over. Or you could choose to look at this Jesus, this person Charity talks about All. The. Time. There’s a reason for her retelling of Jesus’s love over and over. It’s because there’s nothing like it. It’s a story of His sacrifice that ends in your salvation.
John 3:16 says [with Nicole’s interpretation], “For God so loved the world [that God loved you so much, even though you sinned against Him], that He gave His only Son [that He sent Jesus from heaven (Best. Palace. Ever.) to earth (Worst. Slum. Ever.) to grow up with all of our human frustrations, experiencing temptation and sorrow and a horde of other emotions, to live through all of that perfectly so He could die a horrible, gruesome, bloody death in which all of the sins we committed are cast upon Him], that whoever believes in Him [anyone that agrees they are a sinner and cannot save themselves, but trust the salvation of Jesus, the blood that He shed on the cross, is enough to cover our sin] should not perish [you won’t be separated from Jesus for eternity- i.e. no hell] but have eternal life [live forever with Jesus in heaven- remember, Best. Palace. Ever.].” It’s a simple verse many children memorize, often as their first verse. But the message is also simple. God created you to be eternal. You sinned. God loves you too much to let you live for eternity with sin. God sends Jesus. Jesus dies to save you from your sins. Now you get to choose whether to accept this simple message and His vast, perfect love.
Well, this was fun! Hope you learned some new oddities about Charity (and the beautiful love of a Savior). One last one:
Charity has this weird rule that she must publish her posts on Thursdays. So I suppose I’ll follow that rule (since it happens to be Thursday).
3 thoughts on “My Blog is HACKED!”
Love this!! (And proud of myself for knowing nearly all of it 😊
Great insights!! I’ve been reading Charity’s blog from the beginning and it’s been a continual source of encouragement and truth. My housemate and I also get along really well… I feel like the 4 of us would have an awesome chat over coffee, lol!
I like this plan!
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