Two friends this week sent me this article; it’s about how Josh Harris is re-thinking what he wrote in “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.”
I have already written about my relationship with IKDG and other courtship books in general, and I’ve already written about courtship culture, so I don’t want to re-hash those things. I just have a teensy bit to add in response to the article that came out this week.
We HAVE to lay off Josh Harris for his book. Love or hate it, it was part of the courtship culture – and he wrote it when he was 21. No one has love figured out at 21. No one has life figured out at 21. He did a bold thing by publishing this book, and it happened to come out in a time when it would be widely received.
While I respect Mr. Harris’s humility in publicly re-thinking what his role was in courtship culture, I really don’t think anything he says or does about it at this point is going to help or hinder anything. People are looking to him for answers, healing, an apology, or a total recantation. But I guarantee that whatever comes out of his pen next is not going to be enough. It won’t be, because Jesus is the only one who is truly enough. Until we understand that, we’ll only be disappointed.
Hear me here. It’s time to put down our pitchforks and pick up our Bibles.
It’s not Joshua Harris’s fault if we feel guilty about our sins. It’s not his fault if we feel shame about our bodies. It’s not his fault if courtship didn’t work for us.
If we feel guilty about our sins, it’s because we, well, sinned. If we feel shame about our bodies, it’s because the people around us told us lies about our bodies. If courtship didn’t work for us, it’s because God had something else planned.
If you feel guilty about your sins, look to Jesus who lived a sinless life.
If you feel shame about your body, look to Jesus who bore all the shame of the world in his body on the cross, so that the truth could set you free.
If courtship didn’t work for you, look to Jesus who is the only good provider of what we need – including His resurrected self as our spouse in eternity.
Jesus, not Joshua Harris, is the one with answers, healing, and total satisfaction.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather meditate on the Crown of Thorns than on that fedora any day.
That’s my two cents. What’s your experience with Harris’s book? With courtship culture in general? I know there are a lot of emotions and feelings and experiences surrounding this book, and I’d like to hear yours.